what I carry with me

What I carry with me
Are the moments in between
The way the sun passes through the living room
In the afternoon
Or the way a home cooked meal tastes
After you’ve taken all evening to prepare it

What I carry with me
Is that our value
As people
Is not in what we do
How much we earn
Or where we live
But that these attributes
Dictate
Our access
Our safety
And our health
Which we can no longer accept as status quo

What I will carry with me
Is that perfection doesn’t matter
It doesn’t even exist
What matters more than being perfect
Is how we hold space on the phone with a friend
And take care of each other
In big ways
And small

What I carry with me
Is outrage
And anger
I am furious about the systemic racism
Police brutality
Unchecked capitalism
And non existent health care
All of which have kept people
Unsafe and sick
And can’t be eradicated by simply washing your hands and wearing a mask

What I carry with me
Is a deep appreciation for my home
And my family
I’ve been here before
And I still feel it today

What I carry with me
Is the knowledge
That I was a person
Before I had a job
And I was enough
Before someone told me I was good

What I carry with me
Is still mostly unknowable
I will not miss aspects of this time
And I will ache for others
Without having appreciated them in the moment

It’s too soon to say
What is on the other side
We may never know
All we can do today
Is watch the light move
And stay awake